I just know it
evicted, running around for somewhere to live again.. yeah.
the job we were looking at that payed around 90k or something a year.
picked someone else. he wasnt even that good. but they dont have women or black people on their staff. im not saying everything's race related, but this one just totally looked like it all the way. I mean the other person was so crappy, and im not saying that just cause we didnt get the job, I dont do that.

/sigh
i swear
I told myself I'd rather die than have to go through that again
if we dont get over 1700 dollars by the end of the month
then that's it
im probably gonna jump off the tower, and i cant even stand looking down from the balcony.

there's nothing I can do to prevent this either.
i have no bank account
paypal
money at all
so i couldnt find any way to get the money in time
and I doubt I ever would anyway since we only have so long.

ugh i dont know whats gonna happen when we're kicked out.
but there's no where to go.

i guess i'll live in hell instead of on the street.
all this instability is too much, i cant take this. I spent a month like that already, and yeah someone was able to let us borrow a vacation home, but who's to say we'd be able to do it again this time? it's probably rented out by now.


all this stress is gonna make me get that weird headache that feels like I got stabbed with a drill, or drive my already backwards blood pressure insane.

I beleive in god
but
i gave up praying
nothing's really gotten truly better
we just happened to know someone who could cut us a deal. That's all.

so if you end up not hearing from me within the end of the month or so, you know why. well. might know why.